ok, this blog thing is the fault of cara and amy. that's all i have to say. so here it goes. (and you all thought that i had it all off my chest!) it has been nine years, and i still have a lot of shit to get off of my chest.appanrently :)

i am the mom of an amazing little girl. a little girl that was born at 27 weeks gestation, via emergency c-section, only to not breathe her first breath for about 15 minutes and spend the first month and a half of her life on a ventilator. she weighed 780 grams at birth( not quite two pounds of peanut m&m's) and had a bleed in her brain that couldn't be resolved for 13 weeks after she was born. in order for them to relieve the pressure on her brain from the excess fluid, they stuck a syringe in her soft spot every other day and drained off just enough cerebral spinal fluid to keep the pressure off, but to not cause seizures. finally, 3months and 3 days after she was born, they sent me home. yup, someone thought it was ok to send me home with a baby, on a heart and lung monitor to boot. and that was just the beginning. Nine years, 2 eye surgeries, 2 shunt revisions, 1 bilateral leg extention surgery, hearing aids and glasses later, i have this extrodinary little girl who has the most contagious smile and beautiful personality. her happiness and onry-ness (how do you spell that?!) are so damn infectious that it could make anyone want to be nine again, just to cause trouble.

now that i can't think straight, i'll be sure to continue another day with the previous nine years. i always thought that it would get easier, but every day is a new challange for me. now i have the issue of...da da da....PUBERTY. WHAT THE FUCK AM I GOING TO DO! i have so many issues with this one. i have my own issues with mentrual cycles, let alone explaining to my nine year old with cerebral palsy and a cognitive level of about 6 years of age. i know that i have to explain it before it happens i just have NO FUCKING IDEA HOW TO DO THIS! HELP!!!!! ANYONE!!!!!???????
if i don't explain it and it happens at school she will flip out. she might flip out anyway. i did when i was a kid. i just don't know about this one. and how is her father going to deal with it?! god only knows. i really think that it wouldn't be such a problem, ah how am i kidding. i'm gonna have my hands full soon. i guess i better get to researching.....